Living in Lilac...

Earlier today I was talking to T and our everyday conversation about how different we are turned very deep very quickly. We are polar opposites. She likes going out and doing things for herself when on the other hand I like being handed things on a plate. This is why she calls me the princess between us two. But I beg to differ. I think every girl has a princess inside them; some just like to show that in different ways. We’re clearly on different ends of the spectrum.

As I’ve mentioned before the whole point of me “living in lilac” is to have a brighter approach to life, whatever the weather. I really do live in my own little world as I’ve been told; oblivious to all things around me. It’s the littlest things that make me happy like spending an hour perfecting my nails and painting them even though no one’s going to be looking at my hands that closely. It’s buying that nude lipstick you’ve wanted for ages. It’s playing a game of indoor badminton with your younger brother and sister even though you’re absolutely shit at it. Standing under the shower and talking to imaginary people in imaginary scenarios is another past time of mine. And my best friend wonders why my showers are so long.  Also trying to work out for 5 minutes because you really need to get fit as you’ve been promising yourself to exercise and then settling to eat pizza and accepting you’ll never be one of those super-active, super fit, sporty people because you live to eat and not the other way round.

Call it spoiled or just downright lazy, I am extremely dependent on others. I like things being given to me on a plate. When I drop my plate, I shatter with it, instead of trying to fix it. Or I find another plate, which in utter panic, drops too. I treat life like a restaurant where you order what you prefer and you receive exactly that when instead it’s more of a buffet. You have to take the effort to pick for yourself what will be on your plate, without you even knowing how it’ll taste. And what's to say the food available is even what you like? It's just not under your control.

But there comes a point during puberty or even earlier for some people when the reality of being an adult and facing the world alone hits you hard. Your parents are no longer dictating your every step and it's time you make your own decisions. And for those like me that's the most daunting task ever considering how I'm spoon fed everything. Even the prospect of moving away from home for uni has me questioning what I'll do with myself. It's something everyone goes through though I guess. And I am too. We're all in the same boat; trying to keep upright through the darkest of storms and the roughest of waves that hit our decks whilst trying to reach the shore safely. We should just remember to keep our heads held up just as high as the masts through whatever conditions. Nothing can stop you. You're still the you, you were when you left the dock.