Mid-Summer Motivation (Required)

Summer. As always, I had made a ton of plans to do during my summer holidays which all have seem to not happened. 2 weeks into my holidays in Al-Ain (which is a small town in the UAE for those who haven't heard of it before) and I'm wondering what the hell am I doing scrolling through Twitter and Instagram all day in the same spot in my living room. I tell myself I'll regret wasting my time going on the internet all day and then I just do it all over again. The downfalls of today's tech-filled lives!!! It's a constant, never-ending, addicting cycle. Who else? But why does this happen? Why are wired this way? Why is every teen of our generation suffering from this never-seen-before 

condition?

I'm no neuroscientist therefore I can't tell you the exact psychological/biological/sociological reasons... I apologise if you thought I was actually going to help you with your phone addiction. Hopefully if I get into medical school I'll have an actual idea but I can share with you my experience at least... For me it's definitely a lack in motivation as well as the heaps of procrastination because the idea of sitting down and being entertained by vines of One Direction being utter idiots seems a whole lot more productive. No I'm serious. It doesn't make sense to me either but apparently it does to my brain therefore I do it every day on a loop. It doesn't help when you're in a country where daytime temperatures are above 40 degrees currently therefore I spend my days indoors and go out occasionally in the evening when it's cooler. This means I have a lot of time on my hands compared to how I had no time a couple of weeks ago during exam season. But deciding how to utilise this time is much harder than I thought. I was never one to make timetables of things so planning isn't really my thing. That may also be a huge issue. But one thing I really need to make my forte is motivation. that M word that everyone fears. It is something that no one else can bring to you apart from yourself. 

So I decided that being mentally fit starts with being physically fit. I am by no means saying that I'm going to start working out like a maniac to become healthy. What I am saying though is that maybe if I swapped a few of my dietary choices with better ones then that may contribute to a happier, healthier me. Eating Chinese takeaway or pizza regularly and expecting it to not take a negative toll on my body is simply ignorant. I'd heard about detoxing before and thought of it as nothing but an online trend that makes for pretty pictures of pretty drinks on Instagram. Being no kind of expert in these things I had no idea where to start. Little did I know it actually isn't as complicated as I thought. And yesterday, my first day of my detox I managed to finish 3 bottles of this water that has simply lemons and cucumber slices in it. That's a miracle for me because I normally don't even drink more than 3 glasses of normal water a day. I'm not claiming it works but I'll keep you updated on how it's going and most importantly if it helps! 

Only time will tell whether my methods of getting motivated are going to work or not but at least that way I will actually be trying something new. And maybe by trial and error I do find my happy medium, trying to make the most of everyday. I shall end this post with something Jack Dawson famously said....

Living in Lilac...

Earlier today I was talking to T and our everyday conversation about how different we are turned very deep very quickly. We are polar opposites. She likes going out and doing things for herself when on the other hand I like being handed things on a plate. This is why she calls me the princess between us two. But I beg to differ. I think every girl has a princess inside them; some just like to show that in different ways. We’re clearly on different ends of the spectrum.

As I’ve mentioned before the whole point of me “living in lilac” is to have a brighter approach to life, whatever the weather. I really do live in my own little world as I’ve been told; oblivious to all things around me. It’s the littlest things that make me happy like spending an hour perfecting my nails and painting them even though no one’s going to be looking at my hands that closely. It’s buying that nude lipstick you’ve wanted for ages. It’s playing a game of indoor badminton with your younger brother and sister even though you’re absolutely shit at it. Standing under the shower and talking to imaginary people in imaginary scenarios is another past time of mine. And my best friend wonders why my showers are so long.  Also trying to work out for 5 minutes because you really need to get fit as you’ve been promising yourself to exercise and then settling to eat pizza and accepting you’ll never be one of those super-active, super fit, sporty people because you live to eat and not the other way round.

Call it spoiled or just downright lazy, I am extremely dependent on others. I like things being given to me on a plate. When I drop my plate, I shatter with it, instead of trying to fix it. Or I find another plate, which in utter panic, drops too. I treat life like a restaurant where you order what you prefer and you receive exactly that when instead it’s more of a buffet. You have to take the effort to pick for yourself what will be on your plate, without you even knowing how it’ll taste. And what's to say the food available is even what you like? It's just not under your control.

But there comes a point during puberty or even earlier for some people when the reality of being an adult and facing the world alone hits you hard. Your parents are no longer dictating your every step and it's time you make your own decisions. And for those like me that's the most daunting task ever considering how I'm spoon fed everything. Even the prospect of moving away from home for uni has me questioning what I'll do with myself. It's something everyone goes through though I guess. And I am too. We're all in the same boat; trying to keep upright through the darkest of storms and the roughest of waves that hit our decks whilst trying to reach the shore safely. We should just remember to keep our heads held up just as high as the masts through whatever conditions. Nothing can stop you. You're still the you, you were when you left the dock.

Friendship

So it's 2:16am currently in the UAE where I am on holiday. I am sat on my bedroom tiles near my bedroom door trying to catch the Wi-Fi in order to talk to my best friend, T, who's all the way back in England. This 3 hour time difference isn't stopping us. It never does. Whatever we're doing, wherever we are, I and T never fail to keep in contact. And in the process of writing up this post my Dad has turned off the Wi-Fi and now I can't sleep because I haven't said goodnight to T yet.. Therefore I will continue writing my first ever blog post in the hope of making it up to her because she'll definitely read it in the morning.

Mine and T's relationship is as second nature to us just as natural brushing your teeth every morning is. I start my day with her and she's also the last person I talk to before going to sleep. I don't think there has been a day I've had Wi-Fi or Internet in the past 3 years that we haven't spoken. As you've realised yes I am kind of obsessed with my best friend but I guess everyone is obsessed with someone in their lives, right? And we all do the littlest (or even weirdest) of things for that special person. Simply because you can't live without them. I don't even remember what I'd do all day when I didn't have social media and she wasn't my best friend. She's my rock and probably the second person whom I am the most closest to on this planet. For sure. First is my mother. Or maybe they tie first.. But let's not go off track. My point is, it is so weird how attached you get to someone so quickly and how different your life would be hadn't you met that person. There are 2 kinds of people in this world that you'll meet: those who teach you a lesson and those who are there to stay. And T is definitely the latter. My 13 year-old self wouldn't believe I'd be saying this at 18 since we didn't get on at all during the early years of high school. She thought I was a stuck up bitch and I thought she was way too popular and talented to be in my league. I didn't believe in the quote "all good relationships begin with hate" till T became my best friend. We met at such a crucial age where everyone is experimenting to find their identities and also trying their best to fit in especially in an environment like high school. I am who I am thanks to her. 

But when you're away it's that constant feeling of missing them that remains at the back of your head when you're away. It's thinking about what they'd be doing, if they'd eaten and when they'd be going to sleep or drinking coffee to stay up even longer like an idiot! Technology has made it oh so simple for us to contact someone at the click of a button. But still, seeing their face on your screen doesn't take away the fact that you're thousands of miles away from them and can't just make plans to see them the next few days. It's a human fault. We'll never be satisfied with what we get. But what's so good in living life satisfied anyway? To crave is to live. Your heart doesn't just beat hundreds of thousands times a day for you to give your life a satisfactory thumbs up and let it go on as it is. You aren't living if you're not wanting more. In all the right ways of course. I'm not talking about greed. I'm talking about the wanting of feelings. Like that one bungee jump people look forward to in their lives just to feel 30 seconds of adrenaline. Just like that, it's the feeling of a warm hug or kiss of a loved one that keeps us going. And you'll do the littlest or the biggest things to obtain it. After all, we're human. If we've been given feelings, they need to be felt. 

It is now 3am exactly and midnight in the UK. She’s probably awake but definitely time for me to sleep.